You rush everywhere and consider your mum friends as your back-up team. If you’ve forgotten to pack a spoon / toys / baby’s lunch (i’ve actually done that) one of your amazing mama friends is bound to have extra. Who said community was dead?
You’re considering giving your one year-old the old smartphone upstairs in the drawer, just so you can prise her (surprisingly strong) little fingers from your phone long enough to check your messages.
You’ve got pushing the pram one-handed down to an art (you’re checking your phone with the other hand obvs).
You’re less bothered by your appearance than you care to remember. Looking like you’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards is par for the course when you’re a mum, isn’t it?
Weekday playtime consists of you waving the odd toy in the direction of baby and trying to sing Baa Baa Black Sheep on automatic while bashing out an email to your boss / talking your biggest client/ calling John Lewis to find out where that sofa delivery is.
You feel really bad when your little one starts developing a tan and worry constantly they haven’t got enough sun cream on or a wide enough hat.
When that long-scheduled night out with your girlfriends finally comes round, you go a bit crazy. Cocktails, wine, hell perhaps even some shots - it’s like you’ve escaped from an asylum!! You immediately regret it in the morning and swear off alcohol again. At least that pledge is easier to uphold these days.
You look through your phone’s photo gallery and there are literally no pictures of ANYTHING else other than your baby. You and your partner make the odd appearance.
Your granny frequently laments you don’t even know you’re born. Back in her day there was no such thing as disposable nappies, breast pumps or y’know electricity and running water and stuff. It was the dark ages after all. Us mums have never had it so easy. Hmmm, doesn’t feel like that…
Home-cooked food is a treat rather than a staple - for both you and the little un. Well Ella’s Kitchen is just so convenient and baby seems to like it, so….
Amazon Prime is your best friend. Previously, people had to actually go to individual shops and track down the items on their shopping list, which if anything like mine would range from nappy rash cream and cat food to a paddling pool. Like some less exciting version of Pokemon Go. Who has time for that?
You worry that you’ve only enrolled into one mother/baby group rather than four. Should you be doing the swimming and the baby signing too?
Your body hasn’t quite pinged back to what it was pre-baby yet - you consider sacrificing baby time or even sleep to get down the gym more. Perhaps it’s time for a personal trainer?
You practically know all the names of the regulars on Mumsnet going back to 2009.
You regard me-time as a right not a luxury. Our mothers and grandmothers may have done all the child-rearing practically single-handedly, but us millennial mums see time off - be it once a week, or once a day - as a necessity.
You worry ALL the time. Are you giving baby enough quality time? Should you go back to work? Should you have breastfed for longer? Does she need more socialisation? What will the carers and the other babies at nursery do to your sweet little child..?! Are the toys age-specific enough? Is he building a strong relationship with his grandparents and cousins..? The list is never-ending - and i have a feeling it’s not going to go away…