'I love my scar, and the reminder it gives of how my boys came into my world'

April 4, 2019

 

I had never entertained the thought of having a Caesarian. My mum had had natural births and so did my grandmothers, and so I just expected I would have the same.

 

Awaiting the arrival of my first baby, I had my “birth plan”, stress balls, relaxing oils and many other weird and wonderful things to assist me for my anticipated labour and natural birth. I thought my baby would arrive early because he was engaged for a month before his due date and was “big” throughout my pregnancy.

 

My due date came and went, and three days later I had my weekly appointment with my obstetrician. After doing a scan, he found that my baby had completely changed position and was posterior. He advised I would not be able to have a natural birth with the baby in this position.

 

He gave me three more days to give the baby a chance to move and told me to read up on c sections so I would have a grasp on this birth process, as this was how my baby would come into the world if he did not move.

 

I wasn’t too concerned, as I had great faith in my obstetrician and just wanted my baby to arrive safely. I had so much adrenaline and excitement for his arrival, at this point I didn’t care how he was going to come out.

 

But after reading up on C sections and being somewhat excited to go into labour and naturally birth my baby, I was a little overwhelmed with the whole procedure of a c section. After all, it’s a bit like ordering pizza and getting ice cream instead. They are completely different experiences.

 

Three days later, and much more anxious, I saw my obstetrician who confirmed my baby was still posterior, but had tried to move and the cord was now wrapped around his neck. There was no possible way I could birth him naturally. A c section was confirmed and booked in for the following morning.

 

The process itself was not unpleasant. I was just so excited to be having my baby and the doctors and nurses were so beautiful and caring throughout the entire process.

I had never entertained the thought of having a Caesarian. My mum had natural births and so did my grandmothers, and so I just expected I would have the same.

 

Awaiting the arrival of my first baby, I had my “birth plan”, stress balls, relaxing oils and many other weird and wonderful things to assist me for my anticipated labour and natural birth. I thought my baby would arrive early because he was engaged for a month before his due date and was “big” throughout my pregnancy.

 

My due date came and went, and three days later I had my weekly appointment with my obstetrician. After doing a scan, he found that my baby had completely changed position and was posterior. He advised I would not be able to have a natural birth with the baby in this position.

 

He gave me three more days to give the baby a chance to move and told me to read up on c sections so I would have a grasp on this birth process, as this was how my baby would come into the world if he did not move.

 

I wasn’t too concerned, as I had great faith in my obstetrician and just wanted my baby to arrive safely. I had so much adrenaline and excitement for his arrival, at this point I didn’t care how he was going to come out.

 

But after reading up on C sections and being somewhat excited to go into labour and naturally birth my baby, I was a little overwhelmed with the whole procedure of a c section. After all, it’s a bit like ordering pizza and getting ice cream instead. They are completely different experiences.

 

Three days later, and much more anxious, I saw my obstetrician who confirmed my baby was still posterior, but had tried to move and the cord was now wrapped around his neck. There was no possible way I could birth him naturally. A c section was confirmed and booked in for the following morning.

 

The process itself was not unpleasant. I was just so excited to be having my baby and the doctors and nurses were so beautiful and caring throughout the entire process.

I found my recovery to be fine too. I was out of bed within a few hours. And I distinctly remember a midwife saying “how are you up and walking???” To which I replied “I could have 20 more c sections!”

 

It wasn’t until I had my second c section, when I changed my mind and took that comment right back! I thought I had it all down pat but my experience was different this time. I had a spinal block instead of an epidural and I was vomiting throughout the procedure as I reacted badly to it. It is vital to have adequate pain relief in the first 24 hours after your baby is delivered by Caesarian, but because I was so sick, I had only taken Panadol and my recovery took 10 months before I felt “right” again. I was weak and moved slowly.

 

I’m a Pilates teacher so being quite fit, active and body aware, it was frustrating for me to not even be able to walk at a pace for several months, especially when I had taken such care of myself during my pregnancy. I acquired a lot of patience during this time. It’s so important to be kind to yourself and not put pressure on yourself to get back to where you were or to do what you were once able to do. 

 

It is also much harder to recover from a c section when you have a toddler to look after as well as a newborn.

 

My boys are now 5 and 2 and a half and are the most beautiful gifts. I am so blessed to have them, and so grateful.

 

I still have my scar but it’s fading which I’m so sad about. I love my scar. I love the reminder every day of how my boys came into my world.

 

There is quite a stigma attached to c sections, and women have all sorts of reasons for birthing their babies this way. Let’s not judge. I believe it’s not about how our babies enter the world, it’s about how we raise them.

 

Author credit: Emily Jordan

 

 

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