Working as a therapist over many years I have found common themes reoccurring amongst Mothers of all ages, whether they are working full or part-time or stay at home Mums. They all have a tendency to self criticise and feel guilty. Enough! It is time to stop, hold your hands up right now and surrender to parenting by saying to yourself 'It is what it is. I am where I am and it will be what it will be.
Here are 3 tips to help you on your way to more confident parenting;
1. Let go of Guilt - Write down all your guilty feelings, on a piece of paper, about not being with your child enough or working too much or too little, not providing enough. Then write at the bottom of the list 'I am doing just fine' Then tear the list up into tiny pieces and throw it in the bin. You and your child are on their own paths. If you are at home they will gain certain skills in the same way if they are at nursery, school or with other people they will gain other skills. Visualise you and your children on your own railway tracks with you meeting at the stations along the journey of life.
2. Accept the phase - Children are changing all of the time. As soon as you are used to one phase, they move on to the next. If you don't take control of your feelings and get into the flow, you will find yourself still worrying or trying to control everything when your children are adults themselves. Imagine a stream with the water flowing. The water find the easiest way around the rocks and over the pebbles. Imagine going with the flow of your life. Smile as you imagine life easier with you happily enjoying the phase you and your children are in.
3.Celebrate the milestones - Getting through each day is a milestone to celebrate but not by turning to a glass of wine. Instead be a great role model for your daughters and sons showing them the importance of celebrating each day with self care routines, a shower or bath at the end of your day, some gentle yoga stretches or Tai chi slow movements to relax your body and your calm mind, a herbal tea watching a film in comfy pair of pyjamas. You can also try going to bed listening to relaxation or hypnosis download recordings to soothe the stress of your life into a distant memory.
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Or try some bedtime reading on how to manage stress and enjoy parenting more in Cut the crap and Feel Amazing by Ailsa Frank (published by Hay House) £10.99 available from Amazon